"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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