We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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