So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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