i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
