Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
