I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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