is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Terrible idea I love it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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