My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
