the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
