It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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