U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
