it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
