soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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