Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
