i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do vagina's smell?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
