Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize