im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
