i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
