tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
