I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
4 words: hood of his car
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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