let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
