thus making me awesome and them whores
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
