I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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