Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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