Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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