Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
