I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
