apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
