help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
