We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
