First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
