Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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