I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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