This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
