I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
