fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
