There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
