Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
