shes about as inviting as chlamydia
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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