She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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