Well douche your snatch and let's go!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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