your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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