Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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