What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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