I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
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