I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
