Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
