I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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