I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
