You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
