apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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