I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
