so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
