the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
