Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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