Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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