a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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