yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How naked do you want me to be?
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