Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize