youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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