Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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